I have lost track of what day I am on, what time it is, and exaclty what my main objective is.
My husband and I are wanting to pull ourselves out of a slump. A ten year slump that has us frustrated. How do we do that? If there are any ideas out there, feel free to let me know...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Day 2- A Set Back
My husband and I don't argue a lot, but when we do, it's a doozy. Today, we didn't even have a fight. He was already in a bad mood and took something I said the wrong way. Then, we got home and I shut a door in the house too hard I guess and he told me he had enough and was done being married to me. Later he did apologize and blame it on his bad day, but really? I mean, REALLY? After nine years of marriage it was out of the blue and I was in shock.
It did get me thinking, though, about my independence. Not that I want to be divorced, but if something did happen and he was no longer in my life, what would I do? I don't have a job. I don't even have a vehicle because the only vehicle we have is in his name. (We bought it from his parents and his mom only signed his name to it.) Now, that could be remedied, we just have never really thought about it. What's mine is his and what is his is mine. It's never been a question in my head until now. What would I do? Maybe it was another wake up call that I need to better myself.
So, I call it a Setback because it made me depressed and I didn't even want to do this. But, I am bettering myself, right?
It did get me thinking, though, about my independence. Not that I want to be divorced, but if something did happen and he was no longer in my life, what would I do? I don't have a job. I don't even have a vehicle because the only vehicle we have is in his name. (We bought it from his parents and his mom only signed his name to it.) Now, that could be remedied, we just have never really thought about it. What's mine is his and what is his is mine. It's never been a question in my head until now. What would I do? Maybe it was another wake up call that I need to better myself.
So, I call it a Setback because it made me depressed and I didn't even want to do this. But, I am bettering myself, right?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Day 1 - Starting Over
I have heard about blogging. I post my simple thoughts on Facebook. I have never considered Tweeting. I have never done a blog.
A movie was my source of inspiration for this blog. My online English class is what pushed me into this adventure. I will not disclose the movie title because I am not being paid for its publicity. I will say that I admire the woman who made a personal challenge for herself and seen it all the way through.
I will explore my world with new meaning. I will push myself to meet my goals. I will ask anybody who stumbles upon my mediocre writings on life and decides to read, make it a requirement to force me to continue. I need someone to encourage and push me through.
I told my husband earlier today that he was a finisher, I am a quitter. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Not me. I tend to quit. If I don't understand it, if it doesn't go my way, I quit.
I have quit college three times. I have resigned from good jobs. I stopped talking to my mother.
I take the easy way out and I need to be held accountable. Even if no one read, or replies, I am out there. I have potential eyes on my. My aspiration in this: to make myself continue and persevere on my own journey through life.
Currently, my journey has disappointed me, as I am sure there are others out there who feel their life has not fulfilled them. I started out with everything, and now feel that I fail my family. I have not done all I can for them by bettering myself along the way.
I graduated early from high school. I was pregnant soon after and walked the stage with my class carrying a small bump on my stomach. That November, a beautiful baby girl was born. I will share the timeline of my adult life on my page.
Just know this: I could have and can do better. Nobody held me back but myself. I am accountable for my actions. Also, I blamed myself for having a child. This is what society does. When a teen is pregnant, we say their life is going to take a turn for the worse. This is not true. It was not having a child that drowned me, it was my own lack of motivation and my willingness to quit. I will no longer quit.
A movie was my source of inspiration for this blog. My online English class is what pushed me into this adventure. I will not disclose the movie title because I am not being paid for its publicity. I will say that I admire the woman who made a personal challenge for herself and seen it all the way through.
I will explore my world with new meaning. I will push myself to meet my goals. I will ask anybody who stumbles upon my mediocre writings on life and decides to read, make it a requirement to force me to continue. I need someone to encourage and push me through.
I told my husband earlier today that he was a finisher, I am a quitter. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Not me. I tend to quit. If I don't understand it, if it doesn't go my way, I quit.
I have quit college three times. I have resigned from good jobs. I stopped talking to my mother.
I take the easy way out and I need to be held accountable. Even if no one read, or replies, I am out there. I have potential eyes on my. My aspiration in this: to make myself continue and persevere on my own journey through life.
Currently, my journey has disappointed me, as I am sure there are others out there who feel their life has not fulfilled them. I started out with everything, and now feel that I fail my family. I have not done all I can for them by bettering myself along the way.
I graduated early from high school. I was pregnant soon after and walked the stage with my class carrying a small bump on my stomach. That November, a beautiful baby girl was born. I will share the timeline of my adult life on my page.
Just know this: I could have and can do better. Nobody held me back but myself. I am accountable for my actions. Also, I blamed myself for having a child. This is what society does. When a teen is pregnant, we say their life is going to take a turn for the worse. This is not true. It was not having a child that drowned me, it was my own lack of motivation and my willingness to quit. I will no longer quit.
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